


Too Late

by the_whiphand_in_blue



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-04-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 21:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1403530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_whiphand_in_blue/pseuds/the_whiphand_in_blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>after the fall, john is having a hard time dealing with sherlock's death</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Late

It's been two and a half years since he jumped. Two and a half years of night-terrors, shutting everyone out, and suicidal thoughts/actions. Two and a half years of Molly, Mycroft, Mrs. Hudson, and Lestrade constantly “checking-in” (more like pestering in John's mind) to make sure John was coping well and not doing anything stupid. Two and a half years of barely eating, barely sleeping, and barely talking.  
When john first moved in with Sherlock, his night-terrors stopped, and his limp went away. He stopped going to his therapist, and started writing a blog. When Sherlock jumped, John's night-terrors came back, but they were different than before. Johns nightmares were always about Sherlock now. Of the call, Sherlock reaching out for him, saying goodbye, and falling. There were very few nights, if any, that john didn't wake up screaming Sherlock's name.  
John stopped writing his blog. Every time he would open his computer, John's eyes would fill with tears as he remembered all of the cases he and Sherlock went on together. When john started going to (well, being forced to go to) his therapist again, she tried to get him to open up about Sherlock and the fall. He wouldn't say anything, just sit there and stare out the window. She had to prompt him to get any answers.  
“were you and Sherlock close?” she asked.  
“very.” John's voice cracked.  
“what drew you to him?”  
“he was mischievous, adventurous, and never dull... I guess I just needed a bit of that in my life, you know?” she nodded, scribbled down a few notes, and carried on.  
“you miss him, yeah?”  
“oh, more than you can imagine. He was my best friend, and I.... I loved him.” tears flowed freely from John's eyes and his voice was shakey.  
“describe him to me.”  
“Sherlock was...” john cleared his throat. “amazing, extraordinary, just marvelous. He had raven hair that just did... whatever. He had eyes like the ocean, always changing colors. And his cheekbones,” john flexed his hand, remembering the time he hit that beautiful face. “oh his cheekbones. He had lips like cupids bow, just perfect. Sherlock had porcelain skin that sometimes made it seem as if he was glowing.” John sighed.  
“go on.” the therapist said, studying John's expressions.  
“he had a long, skinny body. I don't know how that man had any muscle. He rarely ate.” john chuckled. “he was very observant, always deducing things and people. Sherlock was brilliant. He'd play the violin when he was thinking, and sometimes would not talk for days on end. He was very dramatic, too. He'd pout, all curled up on the couch, and he'd stomp all over the furniture. He even shot the wall once when he was bored.” john realized he was smiling. His therapist noticed, too, and she was writing something down. “he has a brother, Mycroft, I believe you've met him before. They were always feuding, and it was very entertaining.” john continued and told he the story about their trip to Buckingham Palace, and how Sherlock wore nothing but a sheet because he was a stubborn prick.  
“it sounds like you boys had fun then.” John's therapist stated. “can you tell me what happened?” John grimaced. “okay, next time. That's all right.”  
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~  
HOW IS HE? - SH  
FINE, ALIVE, COPING TO SAY THE LEAST. - MH  
MYCROFT, DON'T LIE. HE'S BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL 26 TIMES SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE. - SH  
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY, BROTHER? HE BARELY EATS AND BARELY SLEEPS. WHEN HE DOES SLEEP, JOHN TOSSES AND TURNS, THEN WAKES UP SCREAMING YOUR NAME. HE DOESN'T TALK TO ANYONE. I HAD TO THREATEN HIM IN ORDER TO GET HIM BACK TO HIS THERAPIST. - MH  
THREATEN? YOU THREATENED JOHN? - SH  
CALM YOURSELF BROTHER. I SIMPLY TOLD HIM THAT IF HE DIDNT GO, I WOULD HAVE HIM ADMITTED FOR A PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION. - MH  
I STILL DON'T APPROVE. - SH  
HE LOVES YOU. HIS FACE LIT UP WHEN HE STARTED TALKING ABOUT YOU. HE TALKED MORE IN THAT MEETING THAN HE HAD IN THE PAST TWO YEARS. SHERLOCK, WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK? - MH  
SOON. - SH  
HURRY. I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER HE WILL LAST. - MH  
WATCH HIM. MAKE SURE HE DOESNT DO ANYTHING IDIOTIC. - SH  
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~  
“Lestrade. Molly.” John greeted them as he opened the door.  
“hello John.” Lestrade said, sympathetically smiling. “mind if we come in?” John nodded then stepped aside. “so how are you?” Lestrade asked, still standing because he didn't dare sit in Sherlock's seat or on the couch. Molly was just standing next to Lestrade silently.  
“fine. I'm fine.” John replied, not making eye contact.  
“I heard you went to your therapist yesterday.”  
“yeah? And? What are her conclusions about me now?” John asked, aggravated that word had gotten out.  
“well, um.” Lestrade cleared his throat.  
“he loved you, John. You know that?” Molly piped in. “he was different around you.”  
if he loved me he wouldn't have jumped off a bloody building.” John mumbled. Molly stood there, looking like she wanted to say something else, but she didn't. Instead, she stormed out.  
“john.” Lestrade sighed. “this needs to stop. You cant keep acting like this. It's been two years, you have to move on.”  
John looked up at Lestrade then pointed at the door. “out. Get out.”  
“john. What?” Lestrade asked, confused.  
“GET OUT OF MY FLAT!” John yelled, his eyes filling with tears.  
“i- I'm sorry.” Lestrade said as he walked out the door. John was trembling and he started pacing the flat. Suddenly, he grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil, and started scribbling something down. John folded up the paper, grabbed his coat, and stormed out of the flat.  
“st. Bart's please.” John said as he jumped into a cab. When he reached the hospital, John snuck up to the roof, careful to avoid Molly. At first, John just stood there, trying to imagine everything that Sherlock thought and went through, then he moved to the edge of the building.  
“see you soon, Sherlock.” John whispered, tears cascaded down his face, as he stepped off the ledge.  
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~  
SHERLOCK, YOU NEED TO GO TO ST. BARTS. - MH  
YOU THERE? - MH  
SHERLOCK ANSWER ME GOD DAMNIT! - MH  
WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU NEED TO DISTURB ME, MYCROFT? - SH  
IT'S JOHN. - MH  
WHAT ABOUT JOHN? - SH  
HE JUMPED. - MH  
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~  
Mycroft made sure that nobody did anything to John's body other than put it on a gurney and wheel it inside. When Sherlock arrived, the crowd parted and he ran over to John's body. Sherlock quickly discovered the note and read it. The note read: 'you didn't come back, so i'm coming to you – John'  
Sherlock had deduced that John had been crying before he jumped, obviously shaken by something. Sherlock stormed off before anyone, especially Mycroft, could see the tears falling from his eyes.  
Mycroft could tell Sherlock was upset by the way he walked away. All he was left to do was wonder if there would be another body tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry. sorry. i just couldnt get over the season 2 ending. it hurts me more than it hurts you


End file.
